"People think they know you. They think they know how you're handling a situation. But the truth is no one knows. No one knows what happens after you leave them, when you're lying in bed or sitting over your breakfast alone and all you want to do is cry or scream. They don't know what's going on inside your head-the mind-numbing cocktail of anger and sadness and guilt. This isn't their fault. They just don't know. And so they pretend and they say you're doing great when you're really not. And this makes everyone feel better. Everybody but you."
― William H. Woodward, Jr.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Wednesday, August 01, 2012
Nothing else ends
I've got absolutely no sad or angry recollection of you. I've got no angry comments to add. I cherish the time we shared and looking back I guess I can't honestly say I'd give it up. Still is very hard for me to be alright. I miss.
I'm amiss.
There's a huge vacant space where everything that was yours was: past, present, future, posibilities and dreams. There will be no new place, no adopting a dog, no shared holidays and a lot of further plans I can't even write down because I feel ashamed of how trite and ridiculous they sound now.
I keep repeating myself. I can't get around this. I keep writting with a lot of punctuation, trying to be final or to make things sound like a sentence. My sentence.
Which is stupid, because I am still alive, and the rest of my life has decided to go on without you and might go on without me if I don't run to catch it. In a haste I'm chasing everything and finding that moving on is terribly easy. I hate that; I wish the world would've stopped when we did. But if anything, it has decided to move even faster, and suddenly the rest of my life is shaping itself by it's own and has absolutely nothing to do with anything I've ever dreamed.
And it isn't such a bad thing, is just... Sad.
(I keep using that silly little word, I swear I'm using a synonyms dictionary next time. Or stop writting about being sad)
STK: Mika - No Happy Ending
This is the way that we love;
like it's forever,
then live the rest of our lives,
but not together.
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