From Amy to Frank

All I can ever be to you is the darkness that we knew, and this regret I had to get accustomed to. It was so simple once, so right... That pinnacle we hit once, just once. Waiting for you at that park with hunger in my soul.

I knew I hadn't met my match, yet, every moment I could snatch from you, I dried it out thirsty of everything with your name on it. Your voice on it. Your eyes.

I don't know why I got so attached... But I know it's pretty much my blame, that's what I do, that's what I will, next time someone else stares at me like that, or worse; next time you make me evade yours.

It's my responsibility and you don't owe nothing to me, cause everything I gave you, every single piece of my soul I placed in your hands in the form of a weird gift, was pretty much uncalled for.

I could hardly take all the turn downs disguised as omisions, and I felt deeply hurt and offendend to what your once burning look became; that pityful look as if you were dealing with a wounded deer...

But to walk away I have no capacity.

We could have never had it all, its pretty much impossible for you and I to have anything but this strange thing we call friendship, in which the tiny freak in you came out and play, and the small little dainty normal me, started thinking "mmm! this kinda life I could live" but we had to hit a wall, you need to wear shirts after a while, and a few days after, I need to run around the park screaming bloody murder, so this is inevitable withdrawal; even if I stop wanting you, and perspective pushes thru, the little mass murderer and the small housewife will always love each other to death.

I shouldn't play myself again, I should just be my own best friend and not fuck myself in the head with stupid men...


So we are history, your shadow covers me, the sky above a blaze that only lovers see

I wish I could say no regrets and no emotional debts, but you know, you certainly must know, you owe me.

He walks away, the sun goes down,
he takes the day, but I'm grown;
and in this grey, in this blue shade,
my tears dry on their own...